This is compiled from a ton of responses to questions pipers and drummers receive, many of which are funny to those that are immersed in and committed to piping and drumming, and surround themselves with the unique community that devotes itself to the Scottish arts. However, in most cases, they speak to the ignorance and lack of understanding about bagpipes and drums. Sometimes they just speak to a human desire to be “in” or “have the inside track”…most of these cases are just funny. 
We recognize though, that as bagpipes gain popularity, more and more people are curious about the instrument, history, expectations, commitment and challenges. While many of the stories are funny…often it just illustrates how much work organizations like ours need to do to educate the public about our art. The original discussion thread is from the “Beer Tent” section of Bob Dunsire Forums, a growing discussion board and community of more than 10,000 pipers, drummers, and celtic music and arts fans around the world. See the discussion likely continuing to grow here>>
“Do you have to be Scottish to play Bagpipes?”
Often, this comes in the form of a statement: “Only Scottish people can play bagpipes properly” or “you must be Scottish”. Nothing could be farther from the truth. One of the motivations for many people who start out definitely IS to learn something or get “in touch” with their heritage. But there are literally thousands of people who play bagpipes or Scottish drums from all over the world. Northwest Junior Pipe Band encourages youth of any background to come and find out what all the fun is about. There are bagpipe bands and bagpipers in hundreds of countries from Australia to Mexico (we had a new member join our Grade 5 band this year after learning to play pipes in Mexico), Asia to the Netherlands. Bagpipes are an acquired taste for many, but there is no cultural background requirement to love them.
“Are you a Bagger…do you play the Pipe Organ?”
This is just a classic example of confusion or lack of familiarity with the instrument. They’re Bagpipes, and “baggers” are usually people that work in grocery stores. Pipe Organs are a similar concept (as are many wind based instruments)…but definitely not nearly as portable as a set of bagpipes. Piper, Bagpiper, Highland Piper…those are the most commonly accepted terms. :) We’re not a “Bag Band”, but “Pipe Band” is ok!
On the lack of understanding about the difficulty and commitment necessary to play bagpipes. From “pancelticpiper”
Sometimes, the questions highlight the impact of our “instant gratification” culture. Learning the bagpipe, the Scottish drums, the variety of unique folk, dance, classical and historical music that we’re devoted to takes significant dedication.
Two stories, both of which really highlight that NO musical instrument can “just be played” without a serious time investment, and that the value of a talented bagpipe performance is often misunderstood:
A woman calls seeking a piper to play around 20 minutes at her event. I tell her the fee is $150.
She was incredulous but didn’t skip a beat, immediately coming back with “So how much do you charge for bagpipe lessons?”
I tell her $25 per lesson.
“So tell you what: I’ll take one lesson, rent a bagpipe for a few dollars, and do the playing myself!”…her event did not feature bagpipe music.
I got a call from the “property master” of the Ellen show. He explained that Ellen begins each show with some bit of schtick, and her idea for one show was to march in playing the bagpipes.
This guy was surprisingly knowing in that he realised that if he rented a bagpipe from a Hollywood prop house it wouldn’t be in playing condition. He knew that he had to rent a bagpipe which was currently “set up” and played.
He actually told me “Ellen wants you to show me how to play them, then I can show her.”
So I show up (with a contract which stipulates that they must reimburse me for any damage to the pipes) and I give a quick demo to the propery master of how to play the pipes. He watched me in a serious, focused way… then said “I think you’ll have to show Ellen yourself.”
…her program did not feature bagpipe music.
On “Laws” about what Kilt or Tartan one can wear.
People often believe (or claim) there are rules or laws about wearing highland dress. Nobody has ever identified a law on paper that prevents you from wearing the tartan of a specified clan. In many cases, people wear the “tartan” of their ancestry, but the “Tartan Police” will not track you down and fine you if you just choose a tartan that you like. The only recommendation is to get a quality kilt and dress from a vendor that cares about the history and importance of the clothing. Our pipe band this needs to spend nearly $10,000.00 on uniforms for new members. Expect to spend a minimum of $500.00 for a good kilt. With that, add 100 for the belt, 100 for the Sporran, 30 for acceptable hose (socks), 125 for “Ghillie Brogues” (shoes), and around 300.00 if you want a traditional Argyle or Prince Charlie jacket.
If you’re paying over $1200.00 for traditional Scottish dress, you’ve earned the right to create your own traditions and wear something you like without fear of the Secret Tartan Police tracking you down.
“You can tune those things?”
Yes, absolutely. Pipe bands spend a significant amount of time tuning the three different drones on each bagpipe to sound exactly the same (3 drones times 10 pipers in a band…30 independent sounds to be tuned together) and the “chanter”…the part of the bagpipe that actually makes the music. There are 9 notes on the chanter. Tape is very often used to make the finger holes smaller, raising the pitch, or opened up more lowering the pitch. The position, design, material and temperature of the reed the wind blows through can affect the tuning as well. I like to believe that many people who claim not to like bagpipes have never heard a well-tuned and talented bagpiper or pipe band perform.
“Why are you wearing earplugs?”
Bagpipes can reach 116 decibels, about the level of a chainsaw. For performers in Northwest Junior Pipe Band, earplugs are mandatory at practices and performances.
“Can you turn those down?” Thanks to “Janelle, aka Tenor Granny”
Basically, no. The Great Highland Bagpipe and Highland Snare are designed to be loud. They’re designed for outdoor play, and there’s no volume adjustment. However, there are “indoor” bagpipes designed for “tolerable” levels; shuttle pipes, small pipes, kitchen pipes, and other options. Many pipers have a set of each.
Concert Organiser ” We are going to use our own sound man and system today, because last time you were here some of our older audience found you were too loud”
Piper “We didn’t use the microphones last time and we won’t this time”
Concert Organises “Oh! Can you turn them down then please?”
Piper “No, we can’t turn them down”
Organiser “But you’ll have to. They really are too loud.
Pipe Major steps in and says ” Don’t worry, we’ll play softer”
After we had played, Concert Organiser “Thank you that was much better than last time”
“Do all Scottish Drummers play Bagpipes?”
This is by far my favorite interaction from the discussion; admittedly cobbled together over a variety of conversations…but sometimes when we don’t hear the answer we expect from someone, it takes a while to sink in. Other times, the person answering the questions changes his “tune”. Thanks to Cliff Davis, Bass Drummer.
Seemingly nice person making conversation: “Do you have any hobbies?”
“I play the bass drum in a pipe band.”
“I love the fife, I saw a group at a Revolutionary War exhibit when I was in Virginia. Is it hard to learn the fife?”
“Actually I meant to say bagpipes and drums. It’s a bagpipe band with drums, and I play the bass drum.”
“Oh I see; how long have you played the bagpipes?”
“Actually, I’m a drummer. I play the bass drum in a pipe band. I’m a lifelong drummer that discovered pipe band about twenty years ago when I was in my thirties. I love pipeband drumming; lots of swing, and it’s some of the coolest drumming around.”
“Is it hard to learn to play the pipes?”
“The bagpipe is a difficult instrument to learn and particularly difficult to master. I think that most students spend at least six months to a year on a practice chanter before they are ready to go on to the bagpipes. But I’m no authority because I’m a drummer.”
“Oh, I see. Do you have to have Scottish blood to wear a plaid skirt and play the bagpipes? Do you get to throw those telephone poles? What do they wear under those skirts? What is the name of that fife song in the Old Spice commercial? And tell me again, how long did you say you’ve been a bagpiper?”
“About ten years.”
“Are there real songs for those things?”
There are thousands of tunes composed for the Great Highland Bagpipe, and many that “fit” the instrument, but people are still learning about this unique instrument and the types of music they’re capable of. The challenge of bagpipe music is that there are nine basic notes, without the full range of possibilities available to most instruments. While some “popular” music can be translated to the bagpipes, many tunes sound unusual if played on pipes. In addition, there are “Scottish” and “Irish” tune styles or “idioms” that most commonly get written for the highland bagpipe. Probably the most common are March tunes, designed for parades, events, festivals and celebrations accompanying the troops in or out. Similar to the “Fife and Drum” corps that you think of in American history…the small “piccollo” or flute marching in front of snare drummers. There are also a variety of different dance styles including the Strathspey (uniquely Scottish in origin), the Reel, the Jig, the Hornpipe. One of the most commonly recognized and celebrated tunes for the bagpipe is “Amazing Grace“, a christian hymn, with words originally written by Englishman John Newton in the 1700’s, but only relatively recently associated with bagpipes…within the past 100 years. Piobaireachd is the “historic” and “classical” music for bagpipes, with a history going back hundreds of years.
“Where do you put the batteries?”
In your electric tuner? Bagpipes are purely wind and arm-powered. It is pretty amazing that so much sound can be produced from human power, but it’s true. No batteries required, just a lot of breath and arm control.
A word on “manners”
Several commented about people walking up to them while playing and just beginning to ask questions in the middle of a song. This may be related to the question about whether there are songs written for bagpipes…but it’s hard to know for sure. When you encounter a musician performing or playing music, just politely wait until they finish playing to ask them. Most pipers and drummers are happy to answer your questions…but no-one wants to be interrupted when they’re performing or demonstrating a skill that they have invested significant time in building. If you’re at a Highland Games event and see a man or woman sitting at a table by a performing piper or drummer; listening and writing notes…that’s a competition judge, and you should avoid interupting them as well.
Other Resources
For one of the most complete set of references answer questions about bagpipes, pipe bands and more, please visit Andrew Lenz’s “Bagpipe Journey” website (prominently linked in our sidebar). He has a huge collection of reference articles covering everything from anatomy of a bagpipe to finding a good instructor, or finding a bagpipe band to join. Andrew’s website is an excellent resource for almost anything you want to know about bagpiping.
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